"I was kind of hoping for a scissors lock or bear hug," Davis said. "But I'm not complaining. You're not going to tell my wife are you?"

In 1996, President Richard Battcher was catapulted into the air in the ride known as the slingshot. 1997 President Rollin Middlebrooks opened a kissing booth for the ladies on the midway, where he thrilled many of the carnival ticket cashiers. In 1998, President Mark Stevens rode the Ring Of Fire ride 100 consecutive times. Stevens' balance has almost returned to normal. President-elect Jim Owens has not yet issued his challenge for the 2000 State Fair.

Macon-Bibb merger panel asks for more time

The Bibb County state legislative delegation took under advisement Wednesday a request to extend beyond December the term of the Unification Commission for Improved Government.

Merger commission co-chairs George Israel and Albert Billingslea told the delegation an extension was needed so district lines for a proposed unified city-county government could be drawn using data from the 2000 Census.

The panel said they could have a final report ready for the delegation in January. However, they didn't specify what year. "We should have it ready by 2010 at the latest," said commission member Charles Richardson. "But some of my colleagues are pushing hard for 2020. One member wants the year 2525, if man is still alive, because he really likes that old song."

EPD won't fine Macon Water Authority

The Macon Water Authority must have felt vindicated Wednesday.

The state's Environmental Protection Division agreed the water provider is Y2K compliant. It also admitted it erred when threatening a $10,000 fine last week for the local water authority not answering a Year 2000 Readiness questionnaire.

"All our pencils are Y2K ready, so I would have filled out the questionnaire if I had ever received it," water authority Executive Director Gene Holcomb said.

The problem started in April, when the EPD received the task of making sure environmental facilities statewide would be ready for the year 2000. So they naturally seized the opportunity to mail thousands of questionnaires about various aspects of water delivery, especially those with no computer components.

The EPD's Year 2000 Readiness Program office admitted Wednesday in a faxed letter that the questionnaire had been sent to the wrong address, clearing the water authority of any wrongdoing.

"Heck, we really needed that $10,000 to buy some more questionnaire forms, but we don't want to impose an unfair fine," said Ned Jackleg, the state's Year 2000 program manager.

Danville Men admit City Hall arson

Two men due to go on trial for the fire that destroyed Danville's City Hall and police department in February pleaded guilty to reduced charges Thursday in Twiggs County Superior Court.

Danville Police Chief Joe Wyatt said Mercury Flickabic, 18, and Apollo Fireball, 23, both of Danville, had been charged with first degree arson, burglary and theft by receiving stolen property.

The two were arrested within days of the Feb. 15 late-night fire that burned the City Hall, which contained the police department, and damaged the adjacent Danville Fire Department. The Fire Department was late in responding to the blaze since their equipment was on fire.

Flickabic was sentenced by Twiggs County Superior Court Judge William M. Towson to four years in the burned out city jail; Fireball received five years on probation.

Coincidentally, on the same day as the plea and sentencing, the Danville City Council was opening bids on rebuilding City Hall, Wyatt said, and city officials were quite annoyed that Fireball's bid was lowest.

Since the fire, city business has been conducted from the tailgate of an abandoned pickup truck on Ash Street.

Disclaimer: The accounts, quotes and stories on this page are wholly fictitious and intended as satire and humor. Although real names may be used and all good humor has an element of truth, this stuff ain't real. If you didn't already know these stories were bogus, then you're not too bright. --Steve Scroggins